We always go to Midnight Mass. This year it finished at two in the morning. The Bishop gave a long sermon on concupiscence, lechery and greed. The streets are so dark, Aunt J walked straight into a wall and fainted. We carry her light body to the house. Mother brings her a glass of brandy which will never again leave Aunt's hands.
The Bishop likes to surround himself with spinsters adorned with nubile nieces. He defends the poor and sows his oats amongst his flock